Monday's Course in Miracles

My favorite part of Christmas is the lights. As the days get shorter and darkness creeps in mid afternoon plugging in the Christmas tree and the outside decorations brings light to me. Those twinkles are nothing short of magic as they lighten my soul and bring me closer to my own light within.

Turn towards the light, for the little spark in you is part of a light so great that it can sweep you out of all darkness forever.  ACIM

Thanksgiving at Home

One  of the many blessings of divorce is that my children know the 'day' of any given holiday is insignificant.  Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Birthdays or a holiday 'just because' can be celebrated any time of the year. 

Today was Thanksgiving at the McCormack household.  The day couldn't have been more perfect. We were all together. My children willingly cancelled a few of their teen commitments for 'our' Thanksgiving. We worked together to create a most delicious meal. We played football in the rain. We ate a ton. We played a slew of board games. We laughed. We talked. We were together.

The fact that today is not Thanksgiving or the fact that their dad 'has them' this year for Thanksgiving never entered our minds.

As they were about to leave with their dad one child said, "Thanks Mom for making sure we had Thanksgiving at home."

Thanksgiving at home.

I am so thankful!

Monday's Course of Miracles

This instant is the only time there is. ACIM

Today I said, "Thank you." and "I love you."

If we only have an instant, those are the words to speak.

Mondays Course in Miracles


Today I added an extra meditation, prayer and journal time because it was ONE of those days.

I have a broken dishwasher, washing machine, and dryer. I had figured it all out and was feeling good about my plan. Then I couldn't find the check that was going to help with that plan. I freaked. I got angry at myself. I scoured every corner of the house. I cried.

Then I found this: 

I am not a victim of the world I see..ACIM

The check has yet to be found but I have a plan.

I had a blast taking senior pictures of my Alex. I have no idea how the years passed so quickly yet I know they have been the best. Life is good.


I Should NOT Be Feeling Like This

" I should NOT be feeling like this."

That statement is one of the worst things we could ever tell ourselves.

I know that.

I teach that.

Yet today I told myself  I should NOT feel like this numerous times.

  Here are a few:

"It has been over a decade. Get over it Gin." I did not feel better.

"I cannot believe I am such a crybaby."  I felt worse.

"I should not be feeling this. I should be used to it. I should be happy. I should be better." I felt absolutely horrible.

Two of my three most beloveds took off today for a trip to Florida with their dad and their grandparents. Their grandparents wanted a trip with all three kiddos and it was a splendid idea. .
Until I realized one child would be home.

I got over that beautifully or so I thought.

As they pulled out of my driveway this morning,  I felt the  familiar nausea, heart cracking in half, and tears welling, yet I smiled, waved and blew kisses. All while the self talk pounded in my head:
"I should NOT be feeling this. It has been over a decade. Get over it Gin." 

They left and I continued my pre work morning routine of laundry, dishes, pick up, and dog walk  with tears rolling down my face. The monkey mind continued, "I cannot believe I am such a crybaby."

I got on my computer and made an attempt at working and resentment crept  in. I was supposed to be on vacation right now. I was supposed to be on the Great Single Momma Escape. Yet here I was doing the five kajillion things that make this family run. "I should not be feeling like this. I should be used to it. I should be happy I should be better."

Then a friend called. Her words, "He gets to take them on a fun vacation while you are still doing yesterdays laundry and dishes. I think I'd be resentful. You CAN feel that and still be a great mom. You know that right?"

It is okay to feel whatever feeling comes up.

Insanity happens when we judge feelings as bad.

It took me less than 30 minutes to allow the feelings without judgment and to come back to love. Love for me. Love for my kids. Love for what is.

 A picture of such love from a few years back:

Monday's Course of Miracles

  And God Himself shall wipe away all tears.ACIM

There have been tears shed this football season. This morning's meditation reminded me of the smiles and the enormous love I have for each of my boys.

Golden Nugget From My Sixth Grade Teacher

My K-8 years happened in five different schools. My happiest year was sixth grade.

I went to public school kindergarten, Catholic school first, second and some of third, public school remainder of third, fourth and fifth and back to Catholic school in sixth.

Sixth grade at St. Mary's meant I could travel public transit to and from school with my older sisters who went to the neighboring St, Mary's High School. I felt like I belonged. I was no longer bullied. I felt loved. I had the most loving teacher ever, Mrs. Allen. Her daughter, a nun. was the principal.

Today I remembered  a golden nugget she taught me.

Mrs. Allen gave each of us a circular card with 'tu it'  written in the middle.

She then told us that we may never ever in our lives tell anyone, "When I get around to it." for she had given us a round tu it.

Geesh. I remembered that today right after overwhelm. 

The memory made me happy and I got the basement cleaned in between pick ups.

Loving thoughts to you Mrs. Allen on earth or in heaven.


"Oh Dear God I am so overwhelmed." On my one day off, I have said that in my head many times.

I said it:

When I looked at the paper pile I needed to sort through.

When an email made me feel like I wasn't doing enough.

When my puppy chewed my wallet to bits.

When I was figuring out kids' schedules.

When I looked at the house projects that have yet to be done that REALLY need to be done.

When a teen of mine got snarly and I got snarlier back.

 "Dear God I am so overwhelmed."

While doing the dishes after my snarly 'not so loving mommy moment" , I prayed again. This time was different. This time I asked, "Show me where I am messing up God. Overwhelm is not yours or my plan."

I played with it a bit.

Exited the
World where
Help is
Everywhere when you
Lovingly embrace

I am heading back into the real world where help is everywhere and I lovingly embrace miracles.

Snarly and snarlier  shared a laugh.

It just happened.

I don't remember the last time I breastfed each of my children.
Yet I remember each of them at my breast, their schedules and quirks. Each child has a beautiful story.

I don't remember the last time I changed a diaper.
Yet I remember the squirts, the wiggles, and the songs I sang.

 I don't remember the last time I wiped a butt leaning forward on the toilet.
Yet I remember the thought, "Will I be doing this forever?"

I don't remember that last time I read a story to my children.
Yet I remember the absolute joy of being together in  a book in my bed.

I don't remember the last time I had to be outside when my kids waited for the bus.
Yet I remember the fun games, fighting over who gets to  hold  my coffee cup to keep their hands warm and our neighbors who waited with us.

I don't remember the last time I had to drive my eldest anywhere. Yet I remember having to lug two sleepy kids to pick him up.

It just happened.

Senior year seems to be all about celebrating endings. My first senior night is coming up. My son and I will be honored for his last football game in high school.

It is a beautiful ceremony.

Yet I somehow wish this was another 'just happened' .

"Just happened"  feels more natural.

Monday's Course of Miracles

Forgiveness is the only gift I give, because it is the only gift I want. And everything I give I give myself. ACIM

Forgive yourself for everything you perceived as wrong, bad or not enough.  It is all perfect. Let it go just like the trees are letting go of their leaves. Letting go in forgiveness equals beauty.


Today marks his 88th. His numbers added up equal my daughter's age. They share the same birthday. I remember when Elise turned 8 and He turned 80. Naturally she did the math from that day forward, until he died.

Today I pulled Elise out of school to have a take out Chinese food  picnic at the beach to celebrate her Sweet 16. We had so much fun. I was joyous and enjoying my amazing daughter , the yummy food and the  breathtaking view. My heart was so full there was no room for anything else but Her.

Then while sinking her teeth into orange chicken, she said, "Today is  Pa's 88th birthday."

I paused, glanced at the sea, looked at the amazing young woman (my daughter) beside me  and said, " It sure is and he loved Chinese food too."

Happy Birthday Daddy! I Love You!

Sixteen years ago.

Sixteen years ago today, after a two week stay in the hospital 'they' weren't sure if I would deliver a healthy, alive baby. They prepared us for the worst.

How blessed am I?
On October 16th, 1997, against all odds, Elise arrived. I am so lucky. This gal rocks.

Monday's A Course In Miracles

The Holy Spirit Speaks Through Me Today.

The Holy Spirit needs my voice today, that all the world may listen to Your Voice, and hear Your Voice through me, for I would use no words but Yours, and have no thoughts which are apart from Yours, for Yours are true. ACIM.

What a day.



The Guest House by Rumi. My favorite

The Guest House

This being human is a guesthouse
Everyday a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness
some momentary awareness comes
from an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
of all of it's furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes
Because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

The love of a puppy

Jackson came to us as a surprise as  and the best gift ever.  He has changed our lives and has added so much love.

Thanks Jackson.
We love you!

One Breath

I just finished Pema Chodorn's book Living Beautifully with Uncertainty and Change.  It was great and her message was both profound and simple, just like life.

She challenges her readers to make three commitments:
         1. Do no harm.
          2. Help others
          3. Accept life exactly as it is at this very moment.


What resonated most with me as I read her words was the gentleness. She calls us to be gentle with ourselves when we mess up. I am notoriously hard on myself. Being kind and loving to myself in my thoughts has always been a struggle. If I commit to something or someone and fall short, I spend way too much of my precious time beating myself up. Pema's words encouraged me to simply recognize the shortcoming, breathe and leap again in commitment. In that breath there is no room for guilt or shame or self incrimination. AMEN!

Recognize. Breathe in. Breathe out. Commit again. Don't get into the story.

I can do that.

Mom said there would be days like this.

Mom said there would be days like this.

Water poured onto the floor from the dishwasher.

Water leaked in dribbles from the washing machine.

My puppy nipped and went backwards from our training.

My home was at 58 degrees so I turned on the heat. It didn't kick in.

I hit the reset button and only two rooms got warm.

Mom said there would be days like this.

So glad there is God.

Judgement vs. Loving

The other night I overheard another parent talking about me. It was a negative rant. It was dark.Nobody knew I was sitting in a nearby car waiting to pick up my child. Nobody saw the tears rolling down my face.

After the tears came the' back at ya' thoughts.

Then came the praying and the journaling and the knowing.

I am just as guilty. OUCH!

I have made judgments about other parents. I have voiced these judgments to others. What if they heard me?  What if I made some hard working uber loving  mother cry?

That was a hard pill to swallow.

Since that night I have been paying close attention to how I judge myself and others. Interestingly enough I have caught myself saying to myself exactly what that parent said about me! I have also caught myself judging moms, dads and everyone.

Now when I hear the words that the mom in the parking lot spoke about me run through my head, I take a deep breath and say to myself, "You are an awesome mom Virginia."

Now when I catch myself judging anyone in my head, I don't say it out loud. I do what my mom taught me, I send a prayer of love.

Thank you lovely woman who made me cry. You taught me a great lesson.

Don't judge. Love instead.

Where Did the Time Go?

In the wee hours of the night I hear this, "Mom I think I am going to throw up."

I leap out of bed and head into the bathroom knowing exactly which child is in distress. His throw up voice is distinct and full of fear. He has always hated the throw up bug. Nobody likes it, but this child of mine has a deep aversion to vomit.

In my semi sleep state I enter the bathroom and all I feel is shock. My distressed child is six feet tall and 180 pounds. I know this. I see him everyday. Yet, shock waves run through me.

I comfort and do what I know this child needs when the throw up bug visits. Yet he is so big and I am so small in comparison.

It all works and I send him into bed with a bucket by his side and do all of the mommy love things.

I go back to bed and think, remember and never go back to sleep.

Where did the time go?

I remember Barney, the dinosaurs, the trucks, and Star Wars.

I think of the hard work he took on to be a better athlete all on his own.

I wonder if I did enough.

I try to imagine a day without hugging him. And I cry a bit.

I vow to hug him even more.

Next  year he will be in college.

Where did the time go?

A Course of Miracles

As I have mentioned before, each morning I read, meditate and write using the Course of Miracles as my guide.

Today's lesson:

A happy outcome to all things is sure. ACIM

What a comforting truth.

A promise is a promise

A  promise is a promise.

I promised myself I would write a blog everyday in October.  As a single mom of three very busy kids, the promises I make to myself often get put on the back burner.

I make excuses.

I am done with the excuses.

Is this the best piece of writing I have ever created? Absolutely NOT.  It just may be the WORST

Yet I made a promise to ME.

I am in the half century mark. Promises to me finally feel significant.

Make a promise to yourself. Laugh at the excuses. Notice the perceived barriers. Be kind to yourself

 Do it anyways.


The paradox of cleaning

I got hit with the cleaning bug. Not your run of the mill, 'clean because company is coming over' or  'clean counters make me feel in control' type of cleaning bug. I got hit with the 'I want my home to look different and feel different' cleaning bug.

I moved furniture. The living room is now the dining room and vice versa. I wiped down and vacuumed up some pretty scary dirt and found some interesting objects behind and underneath said furniture. I didn't give myself enough time and the new arrangement is yet to be finished.

Thus three plus hours of cleaning and rearranging has made my house a total wreck. Add three teenagers and a puppy to said wreck and the paradox of cleaning makes me chuckle.

Cleaning is no different than life. Taking care of the unseen places of my home is synonymous to taking care of the  corners of my soul. They both require work. The beginnings of such an undertaking appear to be a backwards step. Three hours of cleaning 'should' not equal utter chaos. Yet it does and thus it 'should'. It will never be totally done. Even in the chaos, I feel lighter.


  Every week my daughter and I hit the library. We are both voracious  readers and between what we have ordered and what we find, our bag is loaded. We love books.

Here is where we differ. She delves into her favorite book and is off to the land of reading. I, on the other hand, examine my goodies, peruse a few pages of each and decide which world of words to delve into first.

Tonight she dove in and I perused as we waited for Sean's practice to end.

I came across a great quote in the first pages of one of my books and thus  chose this one to delve into first.

The book, Mirror Mirror Off the Wall, How I learned to love my body by not looking at it for a year, by Kjerstein Gruys  starts with this quote:

A year from now you will wish you started today. Karen Lamb.

Imagine a year of not looking in the mirror?

I'll tell you more after I read it.

Until then, whatever you want to do or be START TODAY!


Moving From Disappointment to Gratitude

There seems to be a false notion that a spiritual person rarely suffers from disappointment or anger or sadness. The problem with such a belief is that when you do strive for a more spiritual existence negative feelings that show up are viewed as bad and thus stuffed down.

I am a perfect example of such wacky thinking. Recently I suffered from what I perceived as an enormous let down. My children's father and his family were planning a vacation. I saw it as my first opportunity in years to take a mini vacation for myself.  I started saving whatever I could and began plotting and planning the 'Great Single Momma Escape". My escape crashed into pieces when I realized one of my children would be staying behind because of a play off game.

I cried.
I yelled.
I cried some more.
I complained.
I felt sorry for myself.
I complained some more.
I got mad at myself for feeling so angry and hurt and disappointed.
I got mad at myself some more.
I put on the martyr jacket and became grouchy and short tempered.

It was quite the few weeks and I grew tired of my self inflicted drama. So I stopped, put my butt down and prayed. Then I wrote it all out in brutal honesty and gave myself permission to feel those not so pretty feelings. I carefully chose one person to share my hurt. I chose the person who would empathize but not pity. It felt so great to allow myself to feel without the self- judgment and blame.

I was disappointed. Period. My trip was not going to happen. Period. Instead of  staying disappointed I tried to capture what I wanted from this trip. I wanted an escape from the 24/7 parenting. I wanted to feel carefree. I wanted time where all that mattered was me.

My next question was how could I feel that without the great single momma escape?  I tried to remember times I felt carefree, far away from the 24/7 parenting where all that mattered was me. That was the feeling I was trying to capture. I didn't need five days sans kiddos to get that. I could do it now. I could do a little bit of it every week even everyday.

So  I started running different beaches in Southern Maine. I am giving myself a few hours to hike different trails with my puppy. I am going to start biking again. The money I saved is now marked as 'Mini Single Momma Escapes'.

The disappointment has vanished. I am having a blast planning my mini  escapes.

I am now so excited to have this one child home alone with me for a few days. Next year he will be in college. What a gift it will be to have this time with just him.

                                           The view from my latest Single Momma Escape

                                                                I am so blessed

Fifty vs Thirteen.

Turning fifty years old is loaded with expectations. It hit me about three years ago when birthday cards were signed, ' Soon you'll be fifty." The comments baffled me.  I became even more perplexed when people would realize my age and  respond, "I can't believe you're almost fifty."


The real kicker came  practically as soon as I blew out my candles on my 49th birthday cake.  " What are you going to do for your fiftieth?" When I shrugged, the response was always, "You have to do SOMETHING."

So I guess in some way I became conditioned in believing something would shift once I turned fifty. I am now on my fourth day of being fifty years old and guess what? I look the same, feel the same and act the same as I did five days ago.

The only thing that has changed is that people are no longer commenting on 'almost' being fifty or telling me that I have to do SOMETHING for my fiftieth. Phew!

I am however having a hard time wrapping my head around my baby being a teenager. Yes my best birthday present ever is now thirteen years old. That I wasn't ready for.



                                                I have been feeling a lot like this lately:

                                                     A dear friend offered me these wise words:

Take solace in your discomfort. It is telling you something. Have the courage to act on it.

A Thought

            My daily spiritual practice includes reading a lesson from The Course of Miracles, meditating and writing in my journal.

This morning's lesson was a doozy:
               " I can be hurt by nothing but my thoughts" ACIM

This is such a true and simple statement yet so profound and difficult to live by. It really isn't about what is going on around us. It is about how we choose to think about what is going on around us. It was such a great reminder for me to quiet my monkey mind, pay attention and most importantly let things be exactly as they are.

                These breathtaking hibiscus blooms from my garden reminded me as well.

I thought the plant was grossly diseased and needed to be yanked (note the leaves).  I would have missed so much beauty.


I just want them to be happy

                                                " I just want them to be happy."

Every parent's ultimate dream is for their children to be happy. The problem is we can't. We can love them to the moon and back. We can provide a loving and nurturing home. We can cart them to every activity their heart desires. We can feed them the most nutritious meals and talk and laugh with them. But make them happy? That we cannot do.

Happiness is an inside job. The only person's happiness we have any control over is our own.

In my 18 years of parenting, this fact has always stumped me. Yet it has helped me to pay closer attention to my own sense of joy. The irony of it all is when I am happy from the inside out and when I am paying close attention to my joy meter my children seem to sense it and are thus more joyful themselves.

So any time I notice one of my children is in a slump, before I jump into the worry, I stop and pay attention to my own inner landscape. It is my joy that ultimately keeps my family on track.


Looking to find more joy in yourself and with your children, I would be honored to help.

A Bittersweet Ache

It happens every year and every year it catches me off guard.  The feeling of excitement touched with grief grabs hold of my heart each and every year on the first day of school. On the first day of school my children age. Today is the day that I see them at the ages they are, not ever on their birthdays. Today I see an 18 year old senior in high school , an almost 16 year old sophomore and an almost 13 year old 8th grader. My heart cracks a little as I see their wings getting stronger and stronger. I pray I have given them enough love to sustain them and keep them strong when the winds of life blow fierce. I want to both set them off and bring them back in.

                   It is the same as I felt on this day. The very first time they all went to school:

                                                             Love doesn't ever age

Farewell Dear Summer

One child started school today and the other two will begin tomorrow. Par usual I am wondering where did the summer go? What did we do all of those days? I can't come up with anything mind blowing. Yet I remember some very special moments.

A sunrise shared with my youngest:
Amusement Rides
The Tallest Sunflower EVER
Dinner and playing on the Beach with my Daughter
Finding the most perfect heart rocks to add to my collection
Yes dear summer you have been wonderful to me and given me moments and gifts to treasure a life time.

Baby Steps

I love making to do lists. I make them every week and then break them down into daily to do lists. It is a wonderful tool that makes me feel like I have life under control.

There is just one small problem with my wonderful to do lists.

 I don't always complete them.

Just for kicks I looked back into my notebook of to do lists from early spring. Two items on that list are on this weeks list, four months later.


I had a good chuckle at myself. Then I reverted to what I know is truth. There will never be an entire day that I can devote to these two tasks. I can however devote little bits of time to these monstrous chores and eventually they will be completed. I changed my list and for as long as it takes, my to do list will read:


Baby steps always get the job done.

The timer is set.  Off to the basement I go.


The Best Teachers

The best teachers are the ones we are trying to teach. I  learned that lesson in my 18 years of motherhood. Now I am learning it again in training this adorable guy, Jackson.

Lately Jackson has been teaching me about the importance of treats. With the promise of a treat, Jackson has learned to sit, lie down, roll over, and stay. Today, with treats in my fanny pack, my adorable pup ran two miles with me.  Treats and praise was all it took.

After my run, I started thinking about carrying my own fanny pack filled with Virginia treats and self praise as a way to accomplish new things. Here is what I am packing.

    *Lots of positive self talk and reminders that I am loved.
    *Gentle words when I mess up.
    *Doing things I love which I  call Virginia treats. They are Virginia treats because they are things I love to do.
                  -Cutting flowers from my garden and creating beautiful bouquets.
                  - Cleaning out a  shelf in a closet,
                   - Putting on a favorite song and dancing around the kitchen.
                    -  Pulling weeds from the garden.
                    -Framing pictures
                   - Taking time to create a delicious lunch.

What treats are you willing to pack as you accomplish new things?



The Magic of Love

     Single parenting has been the most joyful and the most challenging aspect of my life these past twelve years. As the teen age years  roll by I have hit many a parenting snag. I have had moments of sheer exhaustion and gulping sobs. There have been times where I honestly did not think I could make it one more day or hour or minute of this crazy journey.

     Times like these I call on my co parent, God. To Him I bring all of my worries, frustrations and self pity. I write it all out, every last morsel of how I perceive what is going on with my kids. I hold nothing back. Getting it all out then leaves room for something else to come in. Peace and Calm.

     In that peace and calm I hold my child/children in my heart. I simply bask in all that is perfect about him or her. I remember all of the love and  the laughter we have shared. I even talk to my child in my heart telling him/her how very much I love them.

     Always, each and every time, I do that something shifts and life seems to get back on track.

     It isn't magic. It is simply love. When I choose too see my children with loving eyes they become more loving.


I locked myself in my office late this morning to attend to some much needed paper work. Paper work that has been placed on the back burner since school got out back in June. The lapse of time and my procrastination made a fairly simple task quite mind boggling. Instead of simply plowing through I found myself going further and further into negative self talk.

My thoughts went something along the lines of, "Why did you put this off?" "You should have done this sooner." My self judgment was brutal.

Then as if by some telepathic intuitive knowing my daughter came into my office with, "I made this for you. I love you mom."

                                                 Fresh Veggie & Cheese Omelette

Alone Time

When I flipped the calendar over to August this morning this quote greeted me:

Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that's where I renew my springs that never dry up.
                                                           Pearl S. Buck.

As I meditated on the words, my eyes filled with tears and my body suddenly felt overwhelmingly weary. The 24/7 solo, summer parenting of three teenagers had taken its toll. I needed time alone!

I put on my running shoes, grabbed my bikini, towel, water and sunscreen and announced to my crew that I was heading the beach ALONE!

I ran. I swam. I snoozed in the sun and swam some more.

My springs have been renewed.

Life's Surprises

I am all for a good solid plan. Yet I have learned, usually the hard way, that the best laid plans often fall apart. However  if we stop and look, magic can be found in the debris.

My garden teaches me this lesson every year.

My plans in late winter rarely match the midsummer landscape.

Mother nature always surprises me in ways I could never have planned.

Take this sunflower for example:

 I didn't plant it. It simply showed up in my vegetable garden and keeps growing taller and taller.

I also had plans to line my driveway with annuals like I did last year.

These showed up instead;

                                                          Cleomes do in fact self seed.

Life is full of surprises.


Still Summer

When the tiger lilies produce their last blooms.

And when the black eyed susans make their first appearance.

The stores start to advertise notebooks and colored pencils

And I shake my head.

I will not say good bye to summer.

I will not get into a frenzy making sure each child has all they need for the 'first day of school'.

There is still summer to be enjoyed.

Unlike the early blooming flowers, the ones starting to show their faces now stay smiling most of August, and some right into September.

They remind me to slow down and enjoy. Summers and gardens go by quickly. Stores are open all year long.



              There is no psychiatrist in the world like a dog licking your face.   Ben Williams

We were blessed this summer with a puppy, Jackson. As crazy as our new addition has made our lives. The love he gives so freely makes up for it all.

Beginning Again

 Life often presents itself with perceived obstacles that holler, "I am too busy!"

 One thing is erased from the to do list.

Then the voice inside gets louder, " I am really busy!"

Another thing gets erased from the to do list.

The voice seems to get louder and louder and suddenly all of the things that you do to care for yourself seem to vanish in thin air. They disappear under the guise of busyness and exhaustion sets in.

The exhaustion, the crankiness and the overwhelm has little to do with the busy and everything to do with the choosing. Taking care of myself is the best use of my time. Choosing to do the things that inspire me makes me more efficient and present in every area of my life.

The paradox is life herself.

So I am back starting once again on this blog, because it is never to late to begin again.


The thing I love most about getting older is that I appreciate more and I surround myself with friends that do the same.

I got an email today from a dear friend. My friend was ecstatic about the dandelions sprouting around the garage.

After the dandelion gush,the email read, "Spring is really here!"

A dandelion equals love and joy.

I have watched many a person,myself included , trying to rid their yards of dandelions. Yet a dandelion is a sign of spring. AT LAST!

I replied back that I have perennials popping up through the snow.  I said a prayer to those courageous and full of trust perennials,"Please teach me."

Nature teaches us, nurtures us, and shows us everything we need to learn.

Spring has come!



Let's do spring together in love of dandelions and the courage and faith of the perennials.

Mud Season of the Soul

I can feel spring in the air and in my spirit. The days are warmer. I had to pull off layers during today's run. The snow is melting. I feel a bit lighter.
I see grass on many lawns, mine included.
My daffodils that I dug out of the snow are getting taller.

 No doubt about it, spring is on her way.

Even with spring about to burst, to the human eye, the landscaope looks dull. Mud, puddles,  brown snow and last fall's forgotten clean up litter the landscape.

 It all looks quite ugly.

I feel it in myself. I have lovingly witnessed it in others

Right beside the hope of spring sits a tad bit of  the ugly we would like to ignore.

Yet there it is.

I say embrace it. Love it and play with it in the best way you know how. 

Let's make mud into blesssings.

They are teaching me.

I  entered motherhood naively believing that I would teach my children everything they needed to know and that the learning was one way. The older I get, and the older my children get, I realize more and more that such a premise is very far from the truth.

My children are teaching me and have been teaching me since the day they were born. These days as I watch the people they are becoming, I am learning more about myself.

My eldest is committed to his dream of playing college lacrosse and is pushing his body to it's limits. He encourages me to train for a few 5Ks.

My daughter is amazingly comfortable in her introverted and intellectual nature. She encourages me to embrace and love my introversion and thinker nature.

My youngest's 'take life lightly' approach reminds me not to worry so much about the small stuff or any stuff .

There is so much more about each of them. Every day is a different lesson for me. As I raise them on my own they help me become a better me.

These beautiful young people entrusted in my care are teaching me valuable lessons about myself as I give them the permission and the freedom to become who they are.

Single Mothering...such a blessing!

Seeing Beauty

Five more inches of snow fell overnight.  We had shovelled close to a foot of snow yesterday. I was going to have to shovel the driveway without my three helpers on the first day of spring. During yesterday's snow day my children had remembered last year on March 19th.  I let them stay home from school so we could go to the beach on a miraculous 80 degree day. As I was bundling up I was reminiscing about last year's warm weather and feeling a bit overwhelmed and exasperated by this year's enormous snow fall and never ending winter.

Once I began the task at hand, the sun burst open. I looked around and what seemed like another stupid snowstorm became a magical scene from a fairy tale. I was in awe of the beauty. I smiled and my heart swelled. I didn't want to leave the fairly tale so shoveling the driveway became shoveling the walkways and the back deck and breathing in all of the wonder.

In the midst of my joy and appreciation I realized what all of the great sages of time claim as truth. When we allow life to be just as it is. When we stop trying to make life the way we think it 'should be'. Then and only then do we see true beauty within ourselves and in everything we encounter.

Are you wrrestling with what life has brought you? I would love to help you see the gifts.

Facebook: Fake Book

A dear friend of mine once said "Facebook equals Fake Book."

I deactivated my account a while back.

Many have told me such an action is an entrepreneur's suicide. As an entrepreneur, I beg to differ. My deactivation will not have any effect on my overhead. Most of my clients come to me by word of mouth and by God's power.

I deactivated because I found myself too attached. I was checking my likings and comments numbers way too much.  I was in the process of making facebook into FAKE book. I never wanted that to happen. I never wanted to be what my dear loving friend described.

I never want to be FAKE.

I want to be REAL.

I will go back to facebook. Next time I will be way more authentic.

Until then.....

I am so enjoying the break.


Need some help being more of the unique authentic YOU.  I would love to help.

Miraculous Monday

I had planned on writing today's blog about The Course of Miracles. However, when I went to dump the compost, this miracle surprised me.

What Miracle surprised you today?

Sacred Sundays

A house full of teens after a Saturday night dance.

A Mom in her bedroom wandering in and out to provide food and to  let them know I am here.

Staying awake and on alert because mine and others' most precious ones are on my watch.

Listening to all the fun.

Time doesn't matter.

Midnight cake baking.

After midnight cake eating.

Two a.m giggles

Three a.m. card games.

I hear it all.

Time has switched.

It is now four a.m. and the house is quiet.

I tiptoe around to find each fast asleep.

At last.

I am so blessed.



I love quotes!

Quotes are like a great healthy snack. They nourish in just the right way and in just the right time.

I came across this one today.

Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent. C.J. Jung

It was a perfect find as I spent a few hours writing on today's snowday. I was feeling a tad guilty for writing as my children were doing their own thing. When I found this quote, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that me living MY life and taking care of MY creative needs is the best thing I could ever do for my children.

Naturally, once the writiing was done, snow fun began!


Need help balancing your needs with your children's needs? I would love to help.

10 Rules of Perfect Mothers

1. Perfect mothers have an entire reportoire of effective escape routes. Regardless if she is parenting infants toddlers, school aged children or teenagers, a perfect mother creatively escapes on a daily basis. You must take care of yourself!

2. Perfect mothers don't devour every parenting book, becasue they trust their innate ability to be the expert for their own children. When the perfect mother is looking for advice, she naturally finds resources that are in sync with her uniquely beautiful parenting style.

3. Perfect mothers neither judge or compare themselves to other mothers. The perfect mother encourages and supports other mothers with compliments, knowing smiles and practical help.

4. Perfect mothers remind themselves of their own fabulous motehring in affirmations, great mommy-moments journals, and by celebrating with other great moms the things they do well.

5. Perfect mothers say no to anything and everything that doesn't inspire them. Perfect mothers have children who sometimes compete in sports with no parental cheering section. The perfect mother knows that  her not being there develops her child's internal cheering section. Perfect mothers have said " no" so many times to volunteer activities, she is no longer hounded. The perfect mother volunteers in accordance to her passions, not her guilt.

6. Perfect mothers spend more time doing things with their children and less time doing things for their children. Children of perfect mothers sometimes have to live with the consequences of forgetting their instrument, homework or permission slip. It usually only happens once. Perfect mothers have more time to play with their children because household chores are shared.

7. Perfect mothers have passions and hobbies and a wealth of intelligence that grows as they mother. At times perfect mothers put their passions before the desires of their children.

8. Perfect mothers have no guilt or shame in admitting to themselves and others that sometimes mothering is neither fun or rewarding, and sometimes they would love to run away.

9. Even so, perfect mothers look directly intp their chidlren's eyes  and smile many times a day.

10. Perfect motehrs are all of us: on our perfect snapshot days, our nerve-shot days and all of the days in the middle.


Perfect Mothers

What is your idea of a perfect mother?

Is it the impeccably dressed, cookie baking PTA mom? Is it the thriving six figure career momma? Is it the mom with the bleary eyes carrying an infant while dealing with her toddler's tantrum in the cereal aisle? Or could it be the mom who leaves  the dishes piled, the laundry unfolded and the kids in their pyjamas and calls the sitter for the much needed break?

 Is it one or all of the above?

There is a slew of articles, books and motivational speeches about moms taking good care of themselves and letting go of the idea of perfection. Yet the media still sets the rules of a good mother at oppressive and unattainable heights. We are constantly bombarded with with the one perfect snapshot of motherhood. Believing these snapshots are actually real, moms hide behind the mask of perfection.

Raising children is messy business.

However perfect mothers do exist.

Tomorrow I'll share my ten rules of perfect moms.


Need some help seeing your own perfection. I would love to help.

How Do You Do It?

I have been a single momma of three fabulous children for over ten years. Good grief where does the time go?

So often people have asked,"How do you do it?"

In the beginning, those questions made me defensive and insecure. So I would just smile and shrug.

As the years went by and I got more and more confident in my CEO status, I started to answer the question.

"How do you do it?"

My first and foremost answer, "I pray A LOT!"

Secondly and thirdly, "  I pray even more."


"My family (Yes single moms, you are a family) embraces the silly.

Christmas card 2012 tells it all


Hey single momma, I am here if you need a hand. I would be honored to walk with you. You are enough!

Random Acts of Kindness

I love doing random acts of kindness.  In fact, I do two each day.

Everyday I do something kind for myself and something kind for someone else. Yes. I start with a kind gesture to myself before anyone else. I am  a single parent and CEO of the best business in the world, my family.  Being extra kind to myself is of paramount importance.
It is not a daily grand gesture, rather it is small stuff.
 *Smiling at myself everytime I pass a mirror and doing what Louise Hay encourages and saying, "I love you" to my reflection.
*  Not judging myself  so harshly when I make a mistake.
* Paying attention to my monkey mind and changing negative self talk to positive. "You rock Virginia" is one of my favorites.
* Lingering over my morning coffee
*Reading in bed with tea.
* Making my daily exercise an event instead of something to get over quickly.
* Wearing that special outfit I was saving for a special occasion.
* Making my favorite dinner even if it means the kids will eat cereal.

Being kind to yourself can be a way of living and it makes life so much sweeter.

Now go look in the mirror and smile.


Sacred Sundays

Sundays used to be about going to Mass.

Now I create my own Sacred.

Three kids and a Mom sitting on a couch chatting.

Baking goodies.

Enjoying a footrub from my daughter.

A phone call from my brother.

Tea with my daughter.

Watching my sons play lacrosee.

Making soup.

Making bread.

Saying Thank you.


Cleaning: A Spiritual Practice

I spent most of today cleaning. This wasn't the basic Saturday's  chore cleaning. This was an all out deep clean and clear out endeavor. I cleaned in places that nobody would ever see. I even cleaned behind the fridge.

As I scrubbed, tossed stuff in the garbage, and tossed stuff in the Goodwill box, I knew I was doing something much bigger than cleaning my house. I was also shining up my perceived dark parts of my soul and making room for even more goodness to come into my life.

I found many treasures within myself and one physical treasure that got me teary. The beautiful little pot my 20 year older made for me when he was in fifth grade now is a focal point of my kitchen.

Anything can bring you back to spirit, even cleaning.


Making March Meaningful

March is my least favorite month here in Maine.  It seems to last way too long and my excitement for all things garden is difficult to contain. Here are a few things I do to get through the month:

1. Shopping. In March all things winter are drastically reduced. Yes you will be wearing winter clothes for another month or more.

2. Buying fresh flowers every week. Nothing says spring more than a vase brimming with daffodils.

3. Planning my garden and looking back on last years garden pictures.

4. Ordering my seeds.

5. Forcing forsythias.

6.Spring cleaning. Once the days get warmer I will be outdoors every chance I get.

7. Stocking up on gardening books from the library.

8.Completing indoor projects (see # 6)

9. If all this fails and the snow on the ground is driving you mad you can:


Happy March!