Monday's Course in Miracles

My daily spiritual practice includes reading The Course in Miracles, writing, meditating and praying. Each Monday I share the day's lesson from The Course.

Today I seek and find all that I want.. ACIM.

I kept that thought in mind as I headed out to walk my puppy.  Yes it was sleeting.  Yes I had to wear my winter walking gear. Yes winter in spring is getting tiring.

Yet I found all that I wanted:



Monday's Course In Miracles

 My daily spiritual practice consists of reading from the Course in Miracles, writing and meditating. Each Monday I share the daily lesson from the Course.

 After my mornings meditation I received some sad news. An amazing, inspiring, full of life woman that I had the honor to know passed away yesterday. She was such an inspiration to the world with an ' F you cancer, I am still alive' attitude. News of her death derailed me.

My default button kicked in. That button signals: "Do anything but feel the real feeling."

So I moved into frantic picking up, putting away, walking the dog, and sloppy exercise. Attempt number one to begin writing failed.  So I organized files, made a few phone calls and tried writing again. I failed again.

Learning that this amazing woman has left this world is extremely sad. I can do sad.  The fact that cancer even exists is maddening. I can do angry.

 Many people I have loved, up close and from afar,  have left this world. I have felt crippling sadness and anger. Yet sadness and anger are the easy ones. Those are the ones we can so readily talk about and act upon and the world understands. What the world doesn't want to hear and what I hate to admit is that

Death makes me feel vulnerable and scared.

It makes me ask, " What is the point?"

It makes me fearful of my children's every movement.

It makes this whole impermanence in life scare the bejeesus out of me.

 I didn't want to post today's lesson in The Course with  fright hanging out in my heart.

So I went back and opened the book randomly.

I do not believe in coincidence.

I DO believe in Miracles.

Here are the words I was gifted with:

I Rest in God....this thought will carry you through storms and strife, past misery and pain, past loss and death and onward to the certainty of God.  ACIM

With my vulnerability, my fear, my anger and my sorrow I can rest in God. HE is permanent.

Ann Murray Paige's message of love, hope,joy,and  F you cancer is permanent too. Love never dies.


To Dos Day

I went to bed Sunday night with a long list of things I HAD to do for Monday. Sometimes writing it all down the night before deters the occasional 3 a.m visitor that startles me awake for no apparent reason with a running list of everything I need to get done that day. It is not a welcome visitor as it rarely allows me to go back to sleep.

For whatever reason (the moon, the planets, the dog snoring), writing that list didn't keep the 3a.m. jolt awake visitor at bay. So I embraced it,  made tea and did some writing then dozed off on the couch until my children's alarms went off.

 I was dragging through the day with a running mind script like,"You should be getting more done. You shouldn't feel so tired. So what if your head hurts. You need to get this stuff done."

Jackson came into my office and plopped a tennis ball  at my feet. Happy for the distraction, we played some fetch and then we laid on the couch.  In the peacefulness of rubbing his belly, I got to thinking about my to do list and how I allowed that silly pile of words to enslave me rather than serve me.

I ended up taking a nap with my beloved pup.

To Do lists, while useful tools, can easily become another sneaky way to be mean to ourselves.

Last night when I wrote my To Do list, number one in capital letters read:

Be kind to Virginia

Mondays Course in Miracles

My daily spiritual practice includes reading A Course in Miracles and meditating on the days lesson. Each Monday I share a meaningful quote from my daily reading.

Try not to shape this day as you believe would benefit you most. For you cannot conceive of all of the happiness that comes to you without your planning. ACIM

That quote has made my 'over planned' Monday so much more peaceful. I even took some quiet moments thinking of this: